If you’ve ever felt ashamed of your body, you are not alone. Body image issues are not just personal struggles, they are rooted in larger cultural systems. Shame is a powerful emotion – and a tool for social control – if we’re too busy being ashamed of ourselves, how can we show up for others
Objectification is the act of treating a person primarily as a sexual object, rather than as an individual with a rich inner world. Unfortunately, being objectified in our patriarchal society is a universal problem, especially among women, AFAB and female-presenting individuals. It is also worth noting that body shame is more common in queer than in straight and cisgender men. Objectification experiences include sexually suggestive comments, harassment, catcalling, assault and exposure to hyper-sexualized images and messages online. Take, for example, the young girl being sent home from school because their clothes are seen as ‘too revealing’, effectively reducing her access to education that day.
Self-objectification is the act of internalizing these ideas – seeing yourself (and your body) as something to be harshly judged and evaluated. This often begins already in early childhood, without us even noticing. And before you know it, you’re 21 years old and constantly monitoring your body, exercise and food intake – and comparing yourself to others, in real life and online.
How does self-objectification harm us?
Of course, you can think of the usual suspects – body shame, sexual problems, disordered eating or eating disorders and constant comparison with others, which may also lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety, and difficulty taking part in social activities, such as dinners out, or maybe an inability to deviate from a strict workout regime to join a friend’s birthday party.
However, its effects can be even more insidious. There is research suggesting that increased levels of self-objectification may lead to worse performance on math tests, reduced assertiveness in communication, and even decreased likelihood of political activism. Therefore, being objectified, and internalizing this not only makes you feel unhappy as an individual, but can also hamper social change!
Resisting objectification and learning to make peace with your body is therefore a form of activism, especially if you belong to a minority group.
How can we help ourselves and each other?
- Avoid participating in the objectification of others yourself. Do not make comments about others’ bodies. Notice when judgement comes up.
- Try to also not talk negatively about your own body. This has been shown to breed insecurity in both yourself and your conversation partner.
- Notice your internalized objectification. Challenge and reframe your thoughts.
- Practice setting form boundaries and assertiveness – speak up against objectifying or negative body comments (when it’s safe to do so, of course!). Gently call out your friends or family.
- Limit media exposure. Especially in the age of social media, it is very easy to constantly get exposed to unhealthy beauty standards and sexualized content. Of course, we can’t completely prevent this, but try to notice when certain content is not serving you, and unfollow or mute the account.
- Seek therapy if you’re having a hard time navigating this on your own – it can be very challenging!
How therapy can help
Unlearning deep-seated beliefs can be very challenging, especially if you have to do it alone. A therapist can help you notice self-objectification and give you techniques to combat it. For example, you can learn to use cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques to challenge and reframe your thoughts about your body. Schema therapy helps you identify deep-rooted beliefs about yourself, and work towards not only seeing where they come from, but neutralizing them as well. In addition, you can work on self-compassion and learn to set boundaries with others.
Self-objectification is not a personal or moral failing – it’s learned. And unlearning it can give you so much more freedom, peace and energy to demand change.
References
Butler (1990). Gender Trouble, Feminism and the Subversion of Identity.
Fredrickson et al. (1998). That swimsuit becomes you: Sex differences in self-objectification, restrained eating, and math performance.
Schaefer et al. (2018). Self-objectification, body shame, and disordered eating: Testing a core mediational model of objectification theory among White, Black, and Hispanic women.